Wifey…

Most woman have the desire to be a wife. Some women dream of a magical wedding day with memories that last a lifetime. Becoming a wife is a sought after goal to obtain.

Well, let me tell you my story. I grew up in a household with both of my parents for most of my childhood. My parents divorced at the start of my 9 grade year. This shaped my desire for marriage.

In my early adult years I was driven by success and reaching career goals. I would always say I didn’t want to purchase my first home until I had a family. Marriage was not really a real desire for me. I even made a deal with myself to make enough money so that I could have kids by using a surrogate. I was content with doing things my way.

Growing up in a Christian household I was taught that marriage was the way to go if you wanted a family. I was also taught not to have sex before marriage and living with a partner unmarried is called shacking.

So basically, I did the opposite of everything I was taught. I was involved with several relationships for most of my late teenage years and twenties. I received salvation around age 20. I still endured a process with dating and withholding myself. I was abstinent for 5 yrs in my late 20’s. I slipped back into old habits of dating in my early 30’s. I reunited with my now husband in my 30’s and we lived together unmarried and had children.

God had to reshape my entire mind to understand what marriage is. My parent’s relationship made me not want marriage. I learned early on that I could have any guy I wanted and get what I wanted. I also learned that there was a price tag with that. I endured rollercoaster relationships that were life threatening. God had his hand on me the entire time.

Even though I was in a partnership with my now husband I had to make a decision to live according to Gods word for real. I had to decide to lay down my life and become one with the man I loved. During the process of allowing myself to truly want marriage; I learned that I had to change for real. I became complacent in relationships that did not provoke me to truly change.

So, I was not the fairy tale girl that wanted marriage and planned her big day. I had to fight to want marriage. The battle internally made me stay stagnant. With counsel from my spiritual leaders, my aunt and mother I pushed to become a wife. It was a fight but I did it. So when I lift my hands in gratefulness of becoming a wife; it’s not the glamorous image you think. It’s the fight. God literally had to push me out of my mess to be a wife.

My children had to see marriage and not dysfunction. God showed me all that. If I want my children to walk with the Lord I had to die to my fight with being a wife instead of a partner. I had to show my children that God requires righteousness. I had to embrace it because I needed it and so many other women battling similar issues.

Becoming a wife is a new journey for me. All the stuff before my marriage is dead and I am alive in my position as a wife. My husband and I got married two months ago and we are enduring the process. It’s a beautiful journey. I am grateful that God pushed me to become a wife. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Wifey…