During my prayer and quiet time I held my daughter as she nursed and God reminded me. The doctors said I could not have children. I still remember the doctor’s appointment, the ringing words and coming home in tears.
See I was not an angel in past, so I began to think of the foolish things I did. I thought to myself this is all my fault. I should not have done this or I should have done that instead. So many thoughts rushed in my mind.
My promiscuous past lifestyle was flashing before my eyes. I saw my past and felt like it had robbed me of my future of kids. I did not expect this at all in my life. It’s like I lived as if I was untouchable. Everything rushed back to me and I beat myself up about everything.
I felt like a failure. I was not in a rush to have kids at that moment in my life but it still hurt me. I was prescribed medicine to regulate my hormones. I took it for a little while. Then I felt God lead me to stop taking it. I did not understand why but I stopped.
Then I spoke with my now husband one day and said I think we should try for a baby. Let’s prove the doctors wrong. I can’t accept this. So, we tried and we tried. Then soon came my first born, Romelo. I was amazed at God because the doctors were wrong!
With the faith of a mustard seed I believed that we could and God honored it. Then three years later comes Evelyn Grace. She was not planned. My husband and I were actually with holding from sex as we were trying to honor the Lord prior to marriage. She was a slip up but another testimony that I could have kids.
See God in everything is what I heard from a wise woman. So, as I sat there this morning, God reminded me of His goodness towards me. In spite of what I did in my past and me having two children before marriage God is still in control. He uses literally everything to show the world that he still is in control.
Even in this moment I am in awe of God because I am a mom of not only the two children I birthed but I have two bonus kids too. My dad would say all the time that I would have a lot of kids like my mom. Now I see what he saw. God is so faithful.
I encourage anyone who was told they could not do something to just have a mustard seed faith and trust God. He can do anything He wants to. His plan is far greater than you can imagine. You can because the greater one loves inside you.
Sincerely,
Mom of Four 💖
Lisa Sophia 